fleamail Δημοσιευμένο 14 Ιουλίου 2007 Share Δημοσιευμένο 14 Ιουλίου 2007 Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work daiquiri, a glass of wine on the weekend, you're even around in the holidays, or hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kebab, a butter chicken curry along with a sausage with cheese, onion and mustard (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few sweet chilli and sour cream red rock chips)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time. 3. Clumsiness Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 minutes to get the front door key into the lock. 4. Furthermore The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for a previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin)prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership. Thank you,Your biggest fan P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more beer for me. 3. No Kebab's are just not tasty enough Thank you! 4. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing Τι να κάνεις όταν είναι Σάββατο, μέσα Ιουλίου η πόλη είναι άδεια και δεν έχει και δουλειά :lol: http://www.mixitonline.com http://tuber.bandcamp.com Συνδέστε για να σχολιάσετε Κοινοποίηση σε άλλες σελίδες More sharing options...
kwstas79 Δημοσιευμένο 14 Ιουλίου 2007 Share Δημοσιευμένο 14 Ιουλίου 2007 Πάει, το 'καψες και εσύ, βασανισμένο μου αγόρι (κλοπιραιτ μπαι γιου νοου χου) Bagpipes are louder than banjos. Συνδέστε για να σχολιάσετε Κοινοποίηση σε άλλες σελίδες More sharing options...
bloody_sunday Δημοσιευμένο 14 Ιουλίου 2007 Share Δημοσιευμένο 14 Ιουλίου 2007 Σύμφωνα με ένα παλιό βιβλίο με σπρέι ατάκες, "καταλαβαίνω ότι είμαι μεθυσμένος όταν νιώθω αξιολάτρευτος και δεν μπορώ να το προφέρω"... Fear no more the heat o' the sun Nor the furious winter's rages Συνδέστε για να σχολιάσετε Κοινοποίηση σε άλλες σελίδες More sharing options...
kosh Δημοσιευμένο 14 Ιουλίου 2007 Share Δημοσιευμένο 14 Ιουλίου 2007 Συνδέστε για να σχολιάσετε Κοινοποίηση σε άλλες σελίδες More sharing options...
Προτεινόμενες αναρτήσεις
Δημιουργήστε λογαριασμό ή συνδεθείτε για να σχολιάσετε
Πρέπει να είστε μέλος για να αφήσετε σχόλιο
Δημιουργήστε λογαριασμό
Γραφτείτε στην παρέα μας. Είναι εύκολο!
Δημιουργία λογαριασμούΣύνδεση
Έχετε ήδη λογαριασμό; Συνδεθείτε εδώ.
Σύνδεση